Another complaint… about other peoples’ recipes. Ugh. Or language in general.

I have certain things that bug me about the way some recipes are put together. They are little annoyances, but they just get under my skin – a lot. Yes, a lot. So maybe not so much of a ‘little’ annoyance.

Titling your recipe as such, “Creamy Chicken Pasta Casserole Recipe.” Recipe is not necessary there. At. All.  It is implied. Please do not do this. It makes my brain hurt.

Wasting space by saying “ingredients” before the list of things needed to make the recipe. I really think that is self explanatory. Also, drop “procedure” or “method.” That should, again, be self explanatory.

Numbering the steps of a recipe.  Again, do things in the order they are listed – we don’t need numbers. We are not in kindergarten any more. Nope.

Describing what you are about to do – especially in bold, and then just telling us how to do things. See:

To make the crust: Pulse together …… etc.  Ditch everything before, and including,  the colon. Just tell me what to do without telling me what you are about to tell me. That is just damn stupid.

Can we see I have a problem? Yes.

We will not get into the problem I have with grammar in general, or maybe I will. This past year in particular it was “gifting.” Please shoot me. It almost as bad as “signage.”

Gift is a noun – not verb, even if Victorians used it as a verb on occasion, that is not excuse because I am pretty sure most people did not know Victorians used the word that way. You give someone a gift. You do not gift them anything. It just sounds ignorant.  I am pretty fucking sure the Victorians also did not have “signage.”  Another stupid word that does not exist in the real world. Yes, I also know how quotes work.

Wow, this rant has gone on for way more than I expected. But it makes me feel pretty good. Sweet. But the sad thing is, I could just go on for about ever about stupid grammar things.

And I think that makes me a prig. But, truth be told, I know I can be a prig when it comes to grammar and language. Well, enough said. Perhaps.

 

 

 

It is August – what’s with the pumpkins??

This happens every year. It is so amazingly annoying. Why are pumpkin recipes showing up in my in box in friggin August? Okay, I get that it may be towards the end of summer in parts of the country. But for the lord’s sake, it isn’t even Labor Day yet. Do we have to anticipate this much.

Hello, Williams Sonoma – I do not want pumpkin plates in August. Do you not have an algorithim for different zip codes? We’ll be damn lucky if it gets cool in, um, November. Right now we are worried about record heat, serious rain fall, flooding, and the possibility of hurricanes. Fuck pumpkins.* Not everyone lives in the north east. I am really thinking the people in California are feeling the same way – excepting the hurricane bit.

dd_img_0850-edit*Sorry, slightly rude, but so on point.

Overwhelming 

If you follow food online this is the most overwhelming time of the year – between Thanksgiving, or maybe even Halloween, and New Years.

I get so many emails in my gmail account* with “29 recipes for dressing,” or the “best pecan pie,” or, heaven-forbid more recipes for Brussels sprouts – I am sorry there is not enough bacon in the world to make those things taste good. They should be called what they are, nasty little cabbages. Do not care how you shave them for a raw salad or what you roast them with. Am not doing it. Um, ever. 

The whole holiday food situation is just overwrought.

It is just a bit overwhelming and I think the best thing you can do it avoid it as best you can. Which is what I do around the holidays – avoid as best you can.

It reminds me of the traffic in our neighborhood that basically goes to hell in a hand basket between mid November and mid January because we are centrally located – which seemed like a good idea when we moved here, but when you cannot get out of your own neighborhood for about three months, you realize, it is not a good thing.

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Cranberry Relish – an easy tradition

Maybe that is why traditions become so important. They dial down the stress. You have recipes you know work and that you know your family and friends love, so it takes the pressure off. With the caveat that you don’t try to add too many new things in a single year – that way, friends, is disaster. Again, something I am prone to do, but am working on it. So far this holiday season I think I have done an admirable job.

I think the most important things are the things that make you happy. That is what all the holidays are about and that is why I always make M&M cookies for Christmas.

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Yep – M&M Cookies for Christmas

* and this is my fault.

 

It is a rant … Dressing vs. Stuffing

It is that time of year … the time when people seem to be very confused by two terms. Stuffing & Dressing. Come, come people! This is not that frigging difficult.
Stuffing – seasoned bread (onion, celery, etc.), used to stuff a bird of some sort and then roasted.
Dressing – seasoned bread (onion, celery, etc.), esp. cornbread in the South, baked in a casseroles dish – read: not inside a bird.
Please do not use these terms interchangeably. They may have, mostly, the same ingredients, but the methodology makes them very different.